That Blond-Haired Rascal
by GreenTeaAndPocky
Summary: In which Sasuke bemoans his fate, a bunch of Kami watch their favorite soap opera, and Naruko is a general all around evil mastermind. Nothing too special. SasuNaru Fem!Naruto Fluff! Oneshot! Warning: Characters will be OOC


Summary: In which Sasuke bemoans his fate, a bunch of Kami watch their favorite soap opera, and Naruko is a general allaround evil mastermind. Nothing too special. SasuNaru Fem!Naruto Fluff! Oneshot!

"Sasuke! Hurry up!" Sasuke sighed. Honestly, why did he even put up with that stupid blond-haired rascal? The gods up there must really hate him and every single one of his family.

The Kami looked down bemusedly at the ungrateful brat. Truthfully, they didn't really like him. Of course not, how could

one like him when he had repeatedly hurt their chosen one like this? The spoilt brat clearly did not deserve Naruko's loyalty nor love.

"I say we kill him." Hachiman said casually, munching on some popcorn. The rest of the kami sighed, used to his ways.

"How many times must we tell you this? We can't just kill off everyone we dislike. They are our subjects and thus we must

treat them fairly, no matter how much I may occasionally agree with you," Amaterasu pinched the bridge of her nose despairingly. Tsukuyomi patted her back sympathetically. It was surprising how much the humans messed up in their lore. Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi did indeed have a falling out all those years ago, but they patched back together afterwards. The sun and moon were really apart only due to the fact Tsukuyomi liked to hang out with his friends, whom the humans saw as the stars.

"You're just saying that because the three of you used to favor the Uchiha clan!" Hachiman pointed at them dramatically.

"Yes, but they've fallen from grace. Madara was one such example. Poor child was driven mad from the death of

his brother," Amaterasu replied sadly. "They are redeemed by souls such as Itachi, however."

The Kami nodded, agreeing. Itachi was one that had a tragic fate like so many before him, but he had the blessings of the

Kami, the reason behind his exceptional abilities. He had of course needed to train incredibly hard to get to where he had been, but he was helped along by the fact that many Kami had given him their blessings.

"We're getting off-topic again," Susanoo pointed out.

Izanagi nodded. "Anyways, Hachiman, we've already agreed to let Sasuke court Naruko because that is who she chose and

we should respect her decisions."

"Even if it really is Naruko courting Sasuke," Izanami scoffed. Another legend the humans got wrong. Izanami had indeed

looked grotesque, however Izanagi had had his wits about him and continued leading her towards the surface. After all, her appearance would have been restored after she escaped the Underworld.

The other Kami laughed, because it was very true. Naruko had chased after Sasuke for most of her teenaged years.

"Hey, pass the popcorn, Hachiman! Don't go hogging it all for yourself!" The Kami bickered amongst themselves.

Sasuke shivered. It felt like someone was talking about him behind his back. He looked around suspiciously, but everyone

seemed to be minding their own business. But that was the key word, wasn't it? _Seemed_.

"Sasuke! Are you ever going to get off your fat butt? I've been waiting for _ages_!" Naruko was ranting as she pulled him

along forcefully, something that was unfortunately a very familiar scene. Sasuke inwardly groaned as he thought of all the kind of things his family would have said as they saw him right then. Even so, he couldn't help but feel a burst of warmth and affection for the, dare he say it, _troublesome_ blonde dragging him around, especially when he tightened his grip on her hand and she squeezed his hand right back reassuringly. She glanced at him with a mischievous grin but chose not to comment, instead chattering on about some inane thing, like Sakura scolding her for her poor diet. (And really, it was. He definitely needed to team up with Sakura again to make her eat foods other than ramen. Of course, being dragged along most of the time had nothing to do with it.)

"Are you even listening to me, Sasuke?!" She finished her rant. Sasuke smirked. _Always_ , some _very tiny_ mushy part of him (because Uchihas _were not_ mushy, thank you very much) wanted to answer, even as he replied with a snarky comment.

"Maybe if you had something worth listening to."

" _Teme!_ " Naruko howled predictably as they sat down at their usualy seats in her favorite ramen stand.

"What, dobe? Going to - Pork ramen, please. - tell me that I'll regret it when you become Hokage again?"

"I _will_ become Hokage - The usual, Ayame-neesan! - and that's a fact! And when I'm Hokage, I'm going to assign you

D-ranks only for a _month straight!_ "

"That's a blatant misuse of power!" Sasuke protested, not even protesting the fact that she would become Hokage.

Everyone knew it was going to happen sooner or later, it was just a matter of when.

Naruko's eyes glinted with an unholy light, and Sasuke knew with a rising dread that he just gave her an advantage. "Oh

yeah, and you're going to help all the genin teams that have to capture Tora _. Every. Single. Team_." She began to laugh maniacally as Sasuke's eyes widened with betrayal and horror. It was the night of the massacre all over again. The betrayal of that night was comparable to the betrayal he was feeling right now. _And he knew that this was no empty threat._ Every single team… Tora often managed to escape _multiple times a day_ , and even as a jounin, he wasn't sure he could capture that cat. No, not cat, a _demon._

"Mwahahah - Oh thank you Ayame-neesan! You're the best! - ahahaha!"

Sasuke could only stare in horror. The Pranking Queen of Konoha (and one must never forget the capitals) was back, and

he now realized that she had never left, but rather had been biding her time.

"I have raised a - Thank you, Ayame-san - viper in my bosom," Sasuke declared dramatically.

Meanwhile, Ayame and Teuchi could only shake their heads fondly but exasperatedly at the pair, used to their dramatics.

It was a common sight, a fact that surprised many who were used to the cold and serious Sasuke.

Only Naruto could do the impossible with such frightening regularity.

-hinicetomeetyouimyourfriendlyneighborhoodline-

Note: I'm not really sure of all of my Shinto references here, but I tried my best. If anyone has any corrections, I'll gladly change parts of this if you leave the explanations and corrections in a review or pm me about it. Otherwise, please note that all of the information came from Wikipedia (and thus not completely accurate I'm sure) I put my own twist on things, obviously, but eh. I'm the author! It's not like I'm changing how the actual beliefs are, right? None of the information is mine, and they are all paraphrased.

 **Amaterasu** or **Amaterasu** **-ōmikami** : The sun goddess. She and Tsukuyomi are said to be married, and were born at the same time along with Susanoo. It is said that after the failed retrieval of Izanami from the Underworld (also known as Yomi-no-kuni), Izanagi birthed the three in the cleansing rite after his return.

 **Tsukuyomi** or **Tsukiyomi** : The moon god. He and Amaterasu had a falling out due to his eating of the goddess of food, Uke Mochi, and due to this, the sun and moon are never seen together.

 **Susanoo** : the god of the sea and storms

 **Izanagi** or **Izanagi-no-mikoto/Izanagi-no-Okami** : gave birth to many islands of Japan along with giving birth to many deities of Shintoism. He was married to his younger sister, Izanami, but after she died after giving birth to the god of fire, he made a trip down to the Underworld in hopes of bringing her back, though she had already eaten the food of the Underworld, making her retur impossible. Unfortunately, he broke his promise not to look at her and lit a fire. He saw her monstrous state in the light and promptly fled.

 **Izanami** or **Izanami-no-mikoto** : former spouse of Izanagi, as well as the goddess of creation and death

 **Hachiman** : The syncretic deity of archery and war

-heyimthecousinofthatotherline-

Hey guys! I decided to write a nice and fluffy oneshot about Sasuke and fem!Naruto. I was inspired, I guess. Hopefully it

turned out okay!

So, to address the elephant in the room: Yes, I have been gone for a long time. Am I ever going to finish "Silence Speaks

Loudest"? No, probably not. I read it over the other day and it was so cringey I don't know why you guys liked it. That being said, if you guys want me to continue writing it, I may consider doing a rewrite and trying to continue it. (haha look at me speaking as if I'm popular) No promises I'll ever finish it, as I'm honestly really bad at sticking with one story, but I can give it a go. Who knows.

Also, I originally had a different idea for this story. I was going to write about Sasuke's quest to win over Naruko, but

wellllllllll….. **sweatdrops** This happened. Tell me if you guys want a continuation of this (probably just a bunch of random oneshots about their life since this was honestly just a stupid fluff piece) or a fully fleshed out story. I have a couple other random ideas and half-planned stories that I'm hoping to write sometime. (I love Shikamaru, he's one of my favorite characters. Or a story about Aomine from Kuroko no Basuke, or Morinozuka Takashi, or Gaara, idk)(look at me speaking as if I have fans lmao)

I'm also leaving Silence Speaks Loudest up as some people seem to like it (who knows why it is honestly such a shit story).

Just thought you ought to know. **faints**

Well, let me know what you guys think in the reviews! See ya :)


End file.
